Whether you’ve lost someone recently, or many years ago, grief can often feel more intense during the festive season. While those around you may be getting into the festive spirit, this time of year can often just highlight your deep feelings of loss and loneliness following a bereavement.
Everyone experiences grief differently. While some may prefer to step back from festive celebrations, others may feel the need to stick to familiar traditions to help bring comfort and a sense of connection.
Your feelings of loss are unique and personal to you. It may help to accept that ‘it’s ok, not to be ok’, and to remove any pressure from yourself, or pressure to meet anyone else’s expectations. At the same time, it can be helpful to recognise that others who have been impacted by a loss may grieve differently to you. In these scenarios, try not to hold expectations of how others ‘should’ grieve.
If you’re struggling to cope, below are a few things you can consider to help look after yourself.
Try to keep to a routine
Keeping to a consistent pattern of eating and sleeping can help to protect your physical and mental wellbeing. Consider what activities you can include in your week to help keep you physically active and connected to others. For example, walking in nature can benefit your mental health, sleep quality and help to ease feelings of loneliness.
Find personal ways to remember them
Perhaps use this time to connect to someone you have lost in a personal way. This could include speaking to them in your head or out loud, burning a candle for them, visiting their resting place to reflect, writing them a letter or anything else that helps you to feel closer and more connected to them.
Talk to someone
Sharing how you feel with others can help you to process your emotions and thoughts. Reach out to friends and family and let them know your plans over the festive period so that they can support you.
If you are supporting someone else who is grieving, you can find advice on the Cruse website. This covers practical steps as well as guidance on having conversations.
Further support
If you are feeling overwhelmed, try to remember that you don’t have to deal with it on your own. Below are just some of the charities which offer emotional support through services such as helplines and online communities:
The Samaritans – Call 116 123 for free any time of day to speak to a Samaritan, or email jo@samaritans.org
Sue Ryder – Join their online bereavement community to connect with others or register for their online bereavement counselling service.
Cruse – Call 0808 808 1677 for free to speak to a trained bereavement volunteer, view opening hours here.
This information was published December 2022.
